Intro: William: Why?
Violette: 'Cause it says... "homework".
William: I will break that camera.
Bill: He cut his finger with the chainsaw.
Violette: He cut his finger?!
Violette: Just a little cut?
Bill: Yes, just go get your keys, we've got to take him to the hospital!
Violette: Hospital, for a cut?
Bill: Yes! 'Cause he cut his finger off!
Violette: Cut it off?!
Violette: You just-
Bill: Hurry up!
Violette: I'm going to go get my keys!
Bill: Alright, hurry up, let's go!
Violette: Oh my gosh! (heavy breathing, walks up stairs) Oh my go-he better be the-oh my gosh. (moans, enters William's bedroom) Oh my gosh. (walks down stairs_ I've got to get out of here. No. Oh my gosh, I don't even know if my keys- (Walks outside) Where is he?!
Bill: He's over here, hurry up.
Bill: You've got your keys?
Violette: No! I don't have my keys!
Bill: Well you've got to go get them. We've got to get him to the hospital.
William: Get the keys!
Violette: Do you have a spare set? They're not in my purse.
William: I've got to go to the hospital.
Bill: Oh my God, what is your problem?
Violette: Why don't you have your keys?
Violette: William, let me see!
William: No, no, I can't pull it off, the blood will come out!
Violette: Get in the truck. Get in the truck. Let me get you in the truck.
William: Oh my God! [SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
Violette: Oh my gosh! Look at you! Get in the truck. Oh my gosh, get in the truck, William.
William: I-I-I can't-
Violette: I'm going to call 911 if you don't-
William: Ok! Stop shining the freaking light on me!
Violette: I'm going to call the pol- uhh, 911 if you don't get in the truck.
William: -my God!
Violette: Get in the truck, we've got to get out of here! (Gets into vehicle) Hurry up, Bill, hurry up! Hurry! (honks horn) Hurry up!
Bill: I'm coming, I'm coming. Oh my God.
Violette: Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up, hurry up!
Bill: Freaking crazy. Let me find the keys.
Violette: William, how much of your finger is off?
Bill: He cut it. [CAR ENGINE STARTING]
Violette: Just a cut?
Bill: No! It's cut the finger off!
Violette: Oh my gosh!!! Where- Do you have the fi- where's your fi-
Bill: Do you got the finger, Will? You'll need it when you get to the hospital.
Violette: Oh my gosh. [BILL SIGHS]
William: Just go!
Violette: Oh my gosh...
Bill: -Just keep it wrapped up, keep it wrapped up-
William: it is wrapped up!
Violette: Get straight to the hospital!
Bill: I'm going. I'm going. Don't worry.
Violette: Get straight there.
Bill: I'm going, idiot!
Violette: Don't call him an idiot, he ha- he's ha- how did he cut his finger, by the way?!
Bill: Because he- chainsaw skipped and he cut his finger off!
Violette: What were you doing playing with a chainsaw?-
Bill: -He was cutting some firewood.
Violette: Firewood, wha- what were you cutting firewood for?
Bill: Why do you think!!!
Violette: We don't have a chimney!
Bill: I sell it!!-
William: -He was going to sell it!
Violette: You let him handle a chainsaw?-
Violette: You shouldn't let him handle one!-
Bill: Well, he's got to learn some time!
Violette: Like this?
Violette: [SCREAMING]: Get to the hospital! Get to the hospital!
Violette Get to the hospital!
Bill: -I'm driving, idiot!
William: Take- take the faster route.
Violette: Call 911, I don't want to wait for the hospital! I don't want to wait!
Bill: Listen, I'm starving. I've got to get something to eat before we- I haven't eaten all day.
Violette: Oh, no! You better be kidding me.
Bill: No, I'm serious. I'm starving. (Violette starts talking) We'll get there, he's got it wrapped up!
Violette: We are not going to the- We are not getting something to eat. Screw this crap-
Bill: -I just want a couple Big Macs!
William: Why are you yelling?
Violette: Are you freaking serious?!
Bill: YES! I'M HUNGRY!
Violette: We are not going to the fucking hospital!
Bill: He's got it wrapped!
William: My God...
Violette: THAT'S WHAT- HIS FINGER COULD GET AN INFECTION AND HE MIGHT NOT GET HIS FINGER BACK ON, WE ARE NOT GOING-
Bill: Listen. Listen. He'll get there, I'm freaking hungry.
Violette: I am not going into McDonald's! I am not going to McDonald's! William, tell your dad you don't want to go to McDonald's.
Bill: Hold on, just hold on.
Violette: Tell your dad, you don't-
William: Shut up!
Violette: William. Tell your da- you're not going to McDonald's. I should have drove.
William: Shut your mouth!
Bill: I just want a quick Big Mac, that's all I want!
Violette: You let everyone in the world see what a jerk you are, that you're actually going to get something to eat-
Bill: 'I've got to freaking eat, I'm star- I haven't eaten all day!
William: I can't handle this, stop yelling!
Violette: Get food at the hospital! William, William! [BREATHING HEAVY] Do you want me to climb back there with you?
Bill: Just keep it wrapped, Will. You'll be alright.
William: It is wrapped! Is there still blood?
Violette: You better not go to McDonald's on the way to the hospital.-
Bill: I'm going to McDonald's, I'm starving. I just need a bite.
Violette: What are you, a butthole?
Bill: Yes. I'm hungry.
Violette: You're a father- you don't go to McDonald's when someone's finger came off! Will- William, we're going to get you fixed, honey. Don't worry, Mommy will take care of you, baby.
William: It's not even that it hurts so bad, it just freak...
Violette: William, honey, just, just don't talk-
William: -I'm just so scared.
Violette: Honey, don't be scared. Mommy-
William: It's still bleeding.
Violette: Mommy will take ca- don't move it! Do-
William: -I'm putting freaking pressure on it.
Violette: William, oh my gosh. William, it looks like the bleeding is under control. It's drying up. Just don't move-
Bill: -Keep it wrapped!-
William: -My God...
Violette: Oh my gosh, you got it on your legs and everything! William!
William: Can you drive quicker?
Bill: I am, dingbat!
William: Don't call me a dingbat!
Violette: Don't call him a dingbat, he got his finger cut off!
William: I'm going to freaking bleed to death!
Violette: This is a freaking emergency! William- Don't you dare go and get food!
Bill: I'm freaking starving!
Violette: Don't you dare go and get food! You're a jerk.
William: Come on, just go there!-
Violette: That would be incredibly selfish to go to McDonald's- You told him to go there?
Violette: No. We're not going to McDonald's.
Bill: I'm freaking hungry!
Violette: We are not going to McDonald's!
Bill: Yes, we are!
William: I can't handle this! Get there, go, go, go!
Violette: We are not going to McDonald's. We're not going to McDonald's.
Violette: Thank you. Ok, we're not going to McDonald's. Don't move your finger, whatever you do. Don't move.
William: Can you tell me to stop shaking?
Violette: I can't tell you to stop shaking, honey. You're, you're probably in shock or something-
William: -Come on, go!
Violette: Get there. Just get there.-
Bill: -We'll get there, just keep it wrapped up-
William: -So all I have to do is keep- pressure?
Violette: William, don't... Just don't move it, honey.
Bill: Now we've got a freaking red light.
William: God! Just go through the red light!
Bill: I can't!
Violette: We should have called an ambulance! We should have called an ambulance!
Bill: We'll get there. I'm faster than an ambulance.
Violette: No, you're not!
Bill: Yes, I am!
Violette: You're not, you have such a blown ego!
William: My finger's numb.
Bill: Just keep it wrapped.
Violette: William, just... Of course it's numb, it came off! (William says it's purple) Purple? It's not even purple, yeah, you can't even see that. Don't-
William: I looked through the towel!
Violette: William, don't move it. Please don't move it, honey. Don't move it.
Bill: Just keep it wrapped!
William: Where are you going?
Bill: I-I'm going to the hospital after I get a Big Mac.
Violette: You're not getting a Big Mac!
Bill: Yes I am, I'm hungry!
Violette: You jerk!
William: I'm a little hungry.
Violette: Are you serious? I'm shaking!
William: Can you get me a Big Mac?
William: Can I get a Big Mac?
Bill: Yes, I need one too. I actually need two of them.
William: You better buy me one.
Violette: You guys are worried about Big Macs right now!?
To be continued...